Well... well.. well..
(No, not 3 holes in the ground..
...but get ready for a major tale of WOAH.. I mean, woe. :violin )
Well, tonight my dear QQ friends, I was supposed to be going to see my hero, Sir Elton of John, Live at the iTunes Festival at The Roundhouse.. that unfortunately did not happen.. and here is my sorry tale;
In a nutshell, I was refused admission.. on the grounds that I do not possess the required Photo ID.
Why do I not have anything with my photo on it about my person?
1.) I do not carry a Drivers' Licence.
Why?
I have epilepsy (lived with it the last 25 years) and since the prognosis is that I will more than likely have to be on medication to control it for the rest of my life, I am unable - no, unfit - to drive a motor car.. and so I do not have, nor need, a Driver's Licence (which here in the UK have the necessary Photo ID on them),
2.) I do not currently hold a valid UK Passport.
(which here in the UK have the necessary Photo ID on them).
Why?
Around 10-ish years ago (slightly less, maybe 8 years?) I developed a morbid fear of flying after one too many bad experiences, so that scotched that.. and I've never flown since. Also, I never have the time nor inclination to travel abroad recreationally by land or sea either (I haven't had a proper holiday, going away, that is, for many years.. I have had a few "staycations" to recharge the batteries and some brief sojourns within the UK, thank God.. but nothing that requires a Passport) and I no longer work for a company based in another country as I used to. Put simply, I do not need nor do I want a Passport.
I tried everything I could to persuade the various decision makers there, shoved in an undignified manner from pillar to post, from door staff, to security, to a member of the Apple/iTunes staff at the box office or desk or whatever it was, ultimately to a member of the venue's management.. they were indignant.
I was absolutely, definitely, without hesitation or further consideration, no way Jose, getting in, on the basis that I do not own either of these two forms of Photo Identification (and so did not have either on my person this evening to present as proof of identity to any of those respective staff and agencies to whom I appealed).
This was after queuing up for an hour outside (after a day's work I was already a little whacked but got my second wind, I was going to see EJ, soon all would be good with the world and my Duracell's recharged with the power of his music) where none of the sundry staff around the area outside the venue had mentioned I'd need any such ID..) ..oh and having gone through airport style security, through some hideous walk-through presumed metal detector type contraption and padded down manually and with paddles by an assortment of goons (which in and of themselves was all ever so slightly traumatising, as they were somewhat reminiscent of part of the whole airport/flying experience I have come to so abhor.. and these people
still would not let me in.
So, I promptly came home again, on a hot and smelly tube, just zoned out and totally deflated.
No gig, no EJ, no kiss kiss, no bang bang.
Not even an encore of Can You Feel My Disappointment Tonight..?
I am not a terrorist. I am a fan.
I respect the wishes of the venue and all involved in the organisation of the event.. and I said as much to the Manageress who ultimately drove the final nail in my coffin of ever getting in to the gig tonight.. but really what an appalling way to treat a blameless law abiding citizen who has never and would never commit a crime of any kind, let alone an act of violence or terrorism.
The fact that they would not entertain anything else was just, incongruous to me..
..in near desperation, I said "Look, here's my wallet with various cards of some description, including my Medical Exemption card for my chronic condition, all with my name on them, plus you can see my Facebook, with a mugshot of me, also with my name on it.. and as far as I'm aware I'm the only Adam-Blue Buckley in the World.. and certainly the only one with this face, nobody could be that unlucky.. but that was seemingly too technical and too practical a workaround solution for Apple's staff at their iTunes Festival.
No dice. Piss off ugly.
So, yeah, that was my latest/recent/upcoming gig experience.
Just thought I'd share it with you all here.
So memorable.. sadly for all the wrong reasons.
