So sorry to hear that about your brother Jean. I hope that you have the strength to carry on through this year, as it’s been a tough one for you it seems. We are all thinking of you, and sending positive thoughts your way.
I had a very close friend, my first serious girlfriend, take her own life and it was beyond devastating to me. We were friends long after the romance ended, and she was a near-constant in my life. She had much emotional pain, and a streak of bad luck that seemed to follow her everywhere. I never understood the “why”, but I can only hope that she is in a better place now.
If you take your time I am sure people will understand. Sorry again to hear about your brother.
Luke